South America – Day 106

One hundred and six days down, only seventy-one more to go until Derick returns to the United States of America. 

I haven’t blogged about my book lately but today’s chapter was particularly encouraging.  This week has been crazy.  Tuesday was the Christmas Tea at my church.  I decorated a table, so I spent all day Monday and Tuesday getting ready for that.  Wednesday I had a Pampered Chef party.  My mom helped me clean my house that day, since I didn’t do it on Monday or Tuesday.  The party was a flop, by the way.  Someday I’ll learn to stop trying to have parties.  Thursday my friend, Jess came over and I did her hair and her daughter’s hair.  Thursday night, I had a Christmas dinner with my MOPS group.  Somewhere after we cleaned the house on Wednesday it got destroyed again when I wasn’t looking.  I don’t know how, but I was so discouraged that I have hardly touched it since.  Yesterday, I balanced the checkbook, paid bills and set aside money for Christmas shopping that should have been done a long time ago.  (Thankfully, there is money to set aside right now.)  I also planned the meals for the week and started making a grocery list.  All of those things are great but my house was still a wreck.  Last night and this morning have been better.  Last night, I put chicken in the freezer for dinner, I did the dishes and I started a load of laundry.  (Actually I rewashed a load of laundry that I neglected to put in the dryer yesterday morning.)  This morning I changed the laundry and started another load (so I’ll have clean clothes to wear to church), and read my book.  My house is still mostly a wreck but I feel better today.    

Today’s chapter was called “Mom, Site Manager”.  The next chapter is called “Dad, Project Manager”.  Dad is the one in charge but Mom is the one making sure things are running smoothly on the job sight.  My family loves baseball, and I have often likened a baseball team to a family.  I think the pitcher is like the mother and the catcher is like the father.  The mother is out there with the team, throwing balls and strikes, trying to make the game easier for her family.  But, its the father that is really calling all the pitches that the pitcher is throwing.  So, anyway, today I read about the “pitcher” or the “site manager”.  🙂  It was just encouraging to think that I am not doing all of this for nothing.  It is important for my childrens’ well-being, that I am there everyday and for different events in their lives.  It gives the family a sense of security, when mom is available and has everything under control.  (Or, at least appears to the rest of the family, that she has everything under control.) 

Do you ever get mad just because the situation seems to call for it?  Sometimes I don’t really feel mad, but in my mind it seems like I should be mad.  So, I get mad.  I get mad at Allyn for peeing his pants when the potty chair is not 10 feet away.  I get mad at Aida for leaving her clothes on the floor for us to trip on.  I get mad at Christian because he just cannot seem to keep track of his stuff, and when I tell him to look for it, he can’t see it when its right in front of him.  I ask God for patience and he gives it to me and I throw it back in his face.  None of these things are really worth getting mad about.  I have no idea what to do forAllyn.  I feel like I have tried everything I can think of.  Aida needs to be taught to put one outfit away when she gets another one out.  And Christian needs to have designated areas for his stuff to live so that he can put it away and know where it is the next time he needs it.  And they all need to learn to clean up after themselves.  I need to learn that too though. 

This has been a rough weekend.  I don’t like to clean on Sundays but today may be an exception.  I’m afraid my house will start growing things if I don’t take care of at least some of the mess today.  I can’t wait to go to church.  I need a break.  I need to leave my kids in their classrooms and forget about being a mom for a couple of hours.  Church is a place of refuge to me.  A place where I can come and find peace, and then have lunch afterwards and worry about cooking or cleaning it up when we are done. 

I miss Derick today.  Only seventy-one days to go.

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