For the past couple of months, I have gotten up early to do my Bible Study lesson before the kids wake up. Last Tuesday was the last day of my Esther Bible study for the year. I have had a hard time deciding what to do in those early morning hours so that I am still studying God’s word and still being motivated to get out of bed. I thought about going through an old Bible Study book called Believing God by Beth Moore, the same woman that wrote Esther. But when I got on iTunes to get the videos, I couldn’t find them, which is funny because I just saw them on there a couple of weeks ago.
So today, I started reading a book that I bought last spring at the Hearts at Home conference. I have a stack of books from the conference and have only started one until today. I thought this would be a great time to learn about being a better mom, wife, home-maker, etc. based on scripture. The book is called My Heart’s at Home by Jill Savage. She is the one that started the Hearts at Home conferences. This book is all about the different roles a home should be. Since my chosen profession right now is (single) motherhood, defining and creating these roles for the home falls under my job description.
The first role is “Home as a Safe House”. Until I heard Jill Savage speak at the conference about this subject, I had never thought about all the different roles a home has for a family. Home being a safe place was always in the back of my mind but I had never thought about how to make it that way. Home is where we can let the walls down and really be ourselves. But it should be a place where we feel comfortable in doing that. We should feel loved unconditionally and accepted. One thing that she said in the book, that really stood out to me is, “Am I a good listener?” and “Am I a safe person to talk to?” Do I really listen when my kids talk to me? Do I encourage them to keep talking, by what I say in response, by the looks on my face, and by my body language? Or am I criticizing them just by a glance or a smirk? My kids are young right now, but if they can’t talk to me now, how would I ever expect them to talk to me when they get older and their questions and situations in life get really hard?
Proverbs 1:8 says, “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” What kind of law am I setting in my house when I am interacting with my husband and my children? Children are going to follow your example more than your words. If I am being disrespectful to Derick, I am only teaching my kids to be disrespectful to him and to each other.
I also want my home to be a place where it is safe to fail. If they don’t feel safe to fail at home then where will it be ok? When they are little I want to be able to teach them to do things at home and practice doing them at home, so that they will be well equipped for life. When they are older and they fail in school or in life, in general, I want our home to be someplace where they can come and feel safe to tell me (and Derick) about it and find comfort and the strength to try again. I know there are going to be plenty of ways that my children fail that I would rather not hear about but like I said before, I want them to feel safe telling me. I can’t shirk away from that responsibility as a mother.
Potty training has been a good example of home as a safe place to fail. Allyn needed my undivided attention to really learn how to use the toilet. When I gave it to him, he caught on right away. But it took me a couple of weeks to realize what the problem was. At the same time, I wasn’t being very patient during those couple of weeks. I wanted him to do it now, instead of realizing that it takes time and some failures before he will get it right. I am happy to say that in the past 2 days he only missed the toilet a couple of times. (Yay!!) Every day gets a little better! And, hopefully, everyday I can learn how to make my home a safe house for my family.