South America – Day 84

I don’t even know what to write.  My kids and I spent the night at the Holiday Inn City Center in downtown Peoria last night.  My group of friends had a “party” there last night to say goodbye to Ed and Wendi and their kids, who will be moving to Slavakia this winter to be missionaries.  I got an email on Wednesday as a reminder for the party.  In it, there was a list of everyone that was coming.  I felt a twinge of pain when I realized I would be the only one there with kids and no husband.  I really thought about calling and cancelling my room, but I wanted to support my friends.  Now that I am home, I wish I had.  Although, Wendi was really glad that I came. 

The evening started at about 4pm when I remembered that I was supposed to bring a snack and I didn’t have anything to bring.  I called Kendra and she picked up some chips and salsa for me on her way to my house, (cuz you can’t go wrong with chips and salsa).  We got there at about 6:00.  Aida and Christian immediately wanted to go swimming.  So, they put their suits on and got in the water.  This means that I am tied to the pool.  At about 7:30 they got out and got dressed and then at 8:00 I got a break when I asked if someone would watch them and Allyn while I fed Brody and put him to bed.  After that it was time for the other kids to start heading for bed.  I found them  in someone else’s room.  They were all sitting quietly while one of them told a story.  This was good.  They were calming down.  So at about 9, I took mine to my room and got them ready for bed and then had them lay down and I prayed with them.  I told them I would be right back and I walked out my door and down a little ways to sit with some friends.  They followed me.  They refused to stay in bed.  I ended up finally going back to my room with them and staying there.  If they had gone right to sleep I would have come out and talked to my friends a little longer, but it took till 11:30 for them all to go to sleep.  By that time I had been crying on and off for quite a while.  Partly because I missed Derick and partly out of frustration, struggling not to think that the whole night was a complete waste of money. 

This morning I woke up at the usual time just out of habit.  (Well, I woke up a few times in between too, because Allyn kept stroking my face in the night.)  So, good morning 5:30am!  I layed in bed til about 6 and then got up to take a shower.  At 7 the kids started waking up and at 8 I let them go get breakfast with the rest of our friends.  Pretty soon everyone started getting in the pool again.  And of course, Aida and Christian wanted to swim too.  I said no.  I told Christian that last night he got to hang out with his friends and this morning I wanted to hang out with mine.  He sobbed and sobbed.  So, I told him I was going to pack our stuff and leave.  I told him he better go hang out with his friends for a little while longer cuz as soon as I got our stuff packed we were leaving.  He took that as permission to swim.  Well then Aida saw him putting his suit on so, of course, she wanted to swim too.  I was so frustrated that I just let it happen.  I cried as I sat by the pool and tried to keep Allyn away from the edge.  Sometime while they were swimming I noticed that Allyn wasn’t around anymore.  I just about lost it.  When we found him wandering through the halls, I immediately got the other 2 out of the pool, went back to my room and packed our stuff to go.  I had enough fun for one weekend.  No sooner did I get home than the kids tore into a box of Girl Scout cookies that I had set aside to send to Derick.  At that point I put them all in bed and told them not to get up.   

I wish I could say that I had better plans for the rest of the weekend but Idon’t.  I wanted to go to a women’s luncheon with my mom and sisters but it just didn’t happen.  I couldn’t find a babysitter.  I think I’m gonna go to my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner tonight, but I think I’d rather just send my kids and stay home by myself. 

This sounds like a really whiny post.  I don’t mean to feel sorry for myself.  I know everyone has their struggles.  Mine are just obvious to the world.  Everyone knows Derick is gone, everyone knows I am a single mother of 4.  I love Derick so much!  I love the Navy!  I love that he is in the Navy!  I don’t ever wish for a different life.  I know that we are where God wants us to be.  It was just one of those weekends… and its only half over.  I wish I could go to church totally alone tomorrow.  Somehow its always easier to write about hard weekends than easy.  The good weekends seem boring.  I guess that’s what makes them easy. 🙂

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