According to my calculations, if Derick really does come home on February 15, then I have 126 more days to be seperated from him. 18 weeks exactly. I miss him terribly! But, for some reason, its easier to stay in God’s Word while he’s not here. My interests aren’t divided. Its also easier to give Brody all the time and attention that I want. On the other hand. I need to just be disciplined enough to read my Bible and pray even if Derick is here, and if he was here (or when he gets here) he can just share the responsiblity of doting on Brody.
Yesterday was a relatively uneventful day. Brody went to the doctor for his 2 month check up. Its time to start his vaccinations. Derick and I are just unsure about what to do. I hear so many strong arguements for and against having kids vaccinated. I have done some research and I think it comes down to weighing the information for ourselves. Honestly though, some of the things that are said to be linked to the vaccines are kind of scary. At the same time, I would never want my children to have any of those diseases. In the state of Illinois we have to have a religious exemption signed and filed with the school in order to not have vaccinations. When I registered Christian for school his information gave a deadline to have the vaccine records or letter of exemption filed with the office. For them to accually mention a letter of exemption makes me think that there must be a growing number of parents opting out of vaccinating their kids. So, I didn’t do it yesterday. It isn’t as if Derick and I have had much of a chance to sit down and talk about this in the last few months. That just makes it hard to make a joint decision. In the back of my mind I know that the main issue with me is that I need to trust God with the health and safety of my kids. I need to totally relenquish control. But, what parent wants to do that. And if they do, is it ever easy. Whether my kids get their shots or not, I need to trust God to keep them health and safe.
I haven’t heard from Derick’s parents in a couple of weeks. My kids seem to always have colds. I want to go to Bill and Bonnie’s house and do what I can for them, but sometimes I think the best thing I can do for them is stay away. I told them from the beginning that I wanted to make meals for them and come visit them, and I think I’ve done it once. Well, I visited twice, but the second time was only for a few minutes and I had to leave the kids in the car because they were starting to sniffle. And, they haven’t stopped yet. They just keep passing it back and forth. I believe God is asking me to pray for healing for Bonnie. The more I read and study the Bible, the more I am convinced that God is as much of a healer now as he was then. My problem is a lack of faith that he will do it when I ask him to. My kids have colds and I can’t go to my in-law’s house. But, shouldn’t I have enough faith for God to heal my kids colds. If I can’t do that, then what makes me think that I have the faith for God to heal cancer. I think its easier to have faith in impossible situations, because there is no other option. LIke believing God for a financial breakthrough… God provided money for me to visit Derick. I believed that he would because I had no choice. If I didn’t believe that God would provide, then I had nothing to believe in and no means to go to California. For illness its different, we have faith in drugs and in doctors and surgeons, and procedures. And it kind of numbs our faith in the Almighty God. If I give my kids Tylenol and wait it out, their colds will eventually go away. But, where does that leave Bonnie. There are treatments for her cancer but even then the prognosis isn’t very good. So, I want to have faith in a new breakthrough drug or treatment, but wouldn’t it be better to just believe God for full and complete healing. Doesn’t the Bible say to lay hands on the sick, and pray for healing. I really believe that this is what God is asking me to do, but I can’t do that if I can’t go see her, not to mention the issue of having enough faith. If anyone reading this, still believes that we serve an Almighty Healing God, please pray for Bonnie. And, please pray for me, for healing for my kids and for faith that God will heal my mother in law.