I was doing a little research this morning for baby wraps and found the Duggar Family website. They are a facinating family. I don’t know a lot about them but I know that they have tons of kids. It is not a chore for them to love all of their kids. They live totally debt free and the do not live in want! I saw pictures of their house. How many people do I know have a house like that and can say that it, and everything in it, is totally paid for? I’m guessing not many! They are such a huge testimony to God’s blessings when you totally surrender your life to Him and His will in everything… even how many kids you have.
I also discovered, via a link on their page, that I apparently practice (sort of) attachment parenting. Brody and I worked really hard to get him on a schedule. With Derick gone I have to have some sort of schedule to count on or my life is total chaos! He was very receptive to it from the beginning. God really blessed me with a good-natured baby… actually 4 good-natured babies. Anyway, we have a basic schedule but at the same time, I’m not stupid about it. When he was sick, I wasn’t a nazi about the schedule and I fed him when I knew he needed feeding. But, when he was feeling better we went back to the schedule, which is eating every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, and waking him up to eat during the day if he is asleep during feeding time. Then at night I let him sleep as long as he wants (in hopes that he will sleep through the night.) I also have a cradle in my bedroom where he sleeps at night, and takes most of his naps. Apparently, according to this article (which sited Dr. Sears) this is a practice called co-sleeping. I was always under the assumption that co-sleeping always involved sharing a bed. I absolutely cannot do that. I do not sleep when my baby is in bed with me. And when Derick is home, I can’t sleep when any of my kids are in bed with me. (With him gone, I’m not near so anxious to take them back to their own bed. Sometimes its nice to have someone I love to snuggle with, even if its not my husband!)
When I was working after my first 3 kids were born, I always layed them down to go to sleep. I did this because I didn’t want the babysitter to be married to the rocking chair at naptime everyday. Christian actually hated being rocked. One time I was trying to rock him to sleep and he just kept getting madder and madder. Out of frustration, I finally layed him in his bed. Immediately he was calm and he went right to sleep. When Aida and Allyn were born, I worked at getting them to that point. Really it didn’t take that much work. Probably more for Aida than for any of the rest. I had to just realize that I had done everything I could for her, and she was gonna cry whether I was holding her or not. With Brody, sometimes, especially right now, there are times when I just have to put him down. I have 3 other kids that need my attention, I just don’t have a choice but to put him down and do what I need to do. Most of the time he’s sits in his bouncy seat really well. There are nights though (usually when its bed time for the others) that he cries and we just have to listen to it.
When I was little, I remember going to a friend’s house. My friend’s mom was babysitting a baby boy. He never cried, and never complained but when you picked him up he just layed on you like you were the greatest thing in the world. My friend’s mom told me that he never got held at home. I felt sorry for him, but as a kid, it made it fun for me to hold him, because he loved it when anyone held him. Now that I am a parent, I really feel sorry for babies like that. While I don’t hold my baby ALL the time, he gets plenty of attention. Sometimes, I worry about the kind of attention he gets from his siblings, especially Allyn… he likes to play rough. But, he certainly isn’t neglected. My favorite thing right now is to have people come to my house and hold my baby so that I can do things for my other kids, or do a little cleaning.
Oh, I guess since this is labeled “Day 38” and that was technically yesterday, I guess I should put in an update for yesterday. I went to Bible Study. The study on Esther just keeps getting better and better! Then I went to a friend’s house to get a Moby Wrap. She is loaning it to me to use in the airport on my trip. I have someone else bringing me a Bjorn Baby to try. I thought I’d see which one worked the best and then take that one. Last night a couple of my friends came over and brought dinner and straightened up my living room and my kids bedrooms and held my baby. That made me feel so much better. Its so nice not to wake up to a disaster in the mornings.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I have been seeing a lot of things on the internet lately about attachment parenting, so, incase anyone cares, I thought I’d share my thoughts on it. In my opinion, I think the Ezzo’s (Growing Kids God’s Way) make a lot of valid points. Although, I also think they had two pretty compliant daughters. (My daughter is not so compliant.) I also think that if you are actively involved in your children’s lives and really show love to your kids, then responding to their needs will just come naturally. For me, it doesn’t have anything to do with deciding on one method or the other. I just love my kids and want to show them in whatever way I can how much I love them. If that means I have to let Aida or Allyn (or Christian) cry for a while I do. If that means I have to let Brody cry because Aida needs my attention right now, I do that too. But, rest assured, we are never short on hugs and kisses in our house!