South America – Day 32

I’m getting lazy about posting to my blog everyday.  The stress of some things are just weighing on me.  And its hard to deal with things alone.  I know, I know… I’m not alone, I have Jesus.  That’s true, but there is something about the tangible presence of another human being, the presence of my husband.  I miss him so much tonight.  I don’t know why tonight is different.  It probably has to do with Aida.  She has really been missing her daddy lately.  For the last week and a half she has complained at least 3 or 4 times a day that she is tired.  Last night she put herself to bed.  Sometimes as often, she complains that she is sick, and she has been wetting the bed every night.  I made appointments with the doctor for all of my kids (we use military insurance now and had to switch doctors and I needed to get them established).  Today was supposed to be Allyn’s turn  but I called and switched it to Aida because of all of these problems she’s been having.  The doctor said he didn’t see anything wrong with her.  He got a urine sample and he said it looked normal but he was going to send it in for cultures anyway, just to make sure.  We talked a little about Derick being gone.  I asked him if I should take her with me when I go visit Derick next weekend.  He didn’t think so.  He thought that when we got back we may be starting over as far as the symptoms go.  Then I called someone from the Antioch Group.  He’s the counselor that I saw for 2 years after my x-husband and I split up.  I wanted a professional opinion.  He’s known me for a long time, he knows my family and he knows psychology.  So, I asked him if he thought this was all because she misses Derick and does he think that I should take her along when I go visit next weekend.  He said yes to both.  He thought it would be good for her to see him and re-establish in her mind that Dad’s not gone forever and he is coming home, but not now.  Now, he’s working to support and protect us.  So, I’m thinking very seriously about it, before I take the plunge and buy a very expensive nonrefundable plane ticket.  (For those of you wondering, the Lord has provided in abundance for Derick and I lately, so I’m not concerned about the cost of the plane ticket so much but if I really want to go that route.)  I feel like I’m always on emotional overload and sometimes it seems very hard to make rational decisions, especially at the end of the day.   I think I need to stop now and go to bed.  Maybe I’ll write more in the morning.  Maybe not.

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