The birthday of our baby has officially been changed. Unless I go into labor sooner, the new date is August 6. My doctor had a family emergency and someone in her family has to have surgery on August 5 so baby Uhler’s birthday is changed to the 6th. That’s ok. One more day to get ready for him to make his enterance into the world. I don’t really know what I should blog about, but after that depressing post the other day, I thought all 5 of my readers deserve an update of some kind.
My kids are at Annie’s house today playing with cousins. All but Allyn, he’s sleeping. It actually worked out nicely that way. Derick found out yesterday that his position at CAT has been eliminated. (When it rains, it pours). So, he really needed some down time today. The up side to this is that our health insurance is through the military, not the contract company, and he has a full time job, with the Navy that starts in just 3 weeks. The problem is, we’re gonna be kinda strapped for the next 3 weeks. Not that we weren’t before, but now we really are.
Derick’s mom started her medication… chemo, steroids, and the like. Its made her weaker but she seems to be fairing ok. The main thing that I worry about, is his parent’s relationship with Jesus. Neither of them have a relationship with God that I know of. I have always worried about his dad’s health but now its his mom that we are all worried about. But I mostly pray that they will come to know Jesus through all of this.
We are still undecided as far as what school Christian will go to. My exmother-in-law called me last night to express her concern for him attending Thomas Jefferson Elementary School. I think she is just afraid of him falling into the wrong crowd. I understand that, but I already know that he’s not gonna go to a private school forever. I can’t afford to send more than just him there. And, it is possible to fall into the wrong crowd, even at a Christian school. I understand her concern. That doesn’t make my decision any easier though.
So, I’m still weepy. I cried all morning at church yesterday. I cried a couple of times at my birthday party on Saturday night. Once was because I ripped my favorite pair of pants and one was because we had a taco dinner at my house and by the time I went through the buffet line all the meat was gone. My sister found her boys plates untouched and gave me their meat, and then my father-in-law scraped together all of the meat he could in the bottom of the pan and there was enough for me and my mom to eat. (She had not had a taco yet either.) What silly reasons to cry. I couldn’t really tell you why I cried yesterday at church, but I couldn’t seem to help myself either day.
I know that God is faithful. I know that he will supply all of my needs. I know that he has everything that I need already planned out for today. Yet, I still have a terrible time consoling myself when I think about all of the things that are going on in my life right now. I still don’t know how to pray, except to say, “God, save us!” I think I have such a hard time with God supplying my needs because this is not the first time I have been in need. And I don’t understand a God who loves me so much that he would just continue to provide for me, even though I seem to keep getting myself into hard times! Yet, deep down, I know that he will. His ways are higher than my ways. How could I ever expect to comprehend all aspects of the the great God that I serve. If I could then he would be no bigger than I, and then what would be the point of serving him! So, for now, as I feel the tears coming on once again, I sit here and pray, “God, save us!” and just believe that he will, through whatever means he sees necessary.